A couple of weeks ago, we had a surprise phone call from our neighbours letting us know they'd like to give us a voucher for a night in a hotel in Victoria. They're going away and won't be able to use it. Did we want it?! Err.. YES! Didn't take us long to decide that! We were left a little dumb founded not only in the way of being given an unexpected gift, but also in a way of having God answer a seemingly insignificant wish. Not even a prayer. We'd been hoping and planning on getting away after the events of this past month and had just decided that we weren't going to be able to make it work. A little defeated, we'd put it to the back of our minds. And now, here we were, planning our little getaway :)
From our hotel room
It was nice to get away, and to just be. Our hotel was great, and had an amazing view of the sun setting over Victoria Harbour as we got ready to go out for dinner. A rare treat for us. Island life isn't exactly conducive to going out for dinner on a whim!
Parliament Buildings lit up at night
- one of my favourite things about Victoria!
We were all set to have a nice walk around downtown and keep our little break going as long as possible and then return home the next evening. But, when I needed to "try out the camping chairs" in one of Ken's favourite outdoor shops, I knew I couldn't last much longer. The all too familiar feeling of exhaustion and full body weakness was back. The shop assistants asked us a couple of times if we were ok, perhaps hoping for a quick sale on their lingering stock of fold out camping chairs that I seemed to be enthusiastically trying out?! We decided it was time to head home earlier than planned.
Our drive home was pretty quiet. Trying to wrap our heads around going backwards again when for so long I seem to have been making good progress, and the benefits to my health of being pregnant had seemed to linger for these weeks since the miscarriage.
How do we handle it when there's heart wrenching disappointment? A time when it seems that God is somehow letting us down? He never said it would be easy. We aren't promised health, wealth and prosperity the minute we put our trust in Him. Yet, somehow, when things aren't going well I feel like it's a reflection on whether or not He loves me and how I'm doing in my life. ... not true.
Sunday night services here at Capernwray are a time when the students (and staff sometimes) get to share what God's been teaching them. I rarely go, but this week felt up to and so we went. A guy shared how he's been trying to figure out what God wanted him to do with his life (... haven't we all?!) And shared some things that have been on my heart too, he read out these verses:
Even though sometimes I feel totally crushed by my circumstances, I'm reminded to keep being thankful. In amongst all the questions and the unknowns, that seems like a happily simple task. I don't have to know everything, I just have to be present in each moment and recognise: I have ALOT to be thankful for!