There's an account in this book of a man who's story is quite similar to mine and it was a challenge to remember again some of what I think God has been trying to teach me through this past year.
" "He makes me lie down in green pastures," Psalm 23 says. If we don't choose to lie down, God sometimes makes us... A man in my church became sick and couldn't shake it. It went on for months. He was usually a man who went full tilt at everything, night and day. In Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat, there's a page where that frolicsome, troublesome cat is pirouetting on a rubber ball while balancing a teetering mountain of stacked objects: a fishbowl on a rake, a tray with a milk jug on his free foot, a cake and a teacup on his hat, a toy boat on one hand and a tower of books on the other. He holds a Japanese fan in the curled tip of his tail. The cat claims he's capable of even greater feats than this. But:
That is what the cat said...
Then he fell on his head!
He came down with a bump
From up there on the ball.
And Sally and I,
We saw ALL the things fall.
That's a suitable metaphor for this man's life. The sickness stripped him down. The sickness collapsed him and scattered his circus act. He had to spend whole days and weeks housebound, idle, waiting, banking energy just to go up and down stairs... One day he said to me, "I know God is trying to get my attention. I just haven't figured out yet what He wants my attention for. He must want me to do something."
I thought for a moment. "Maybe," I said, "that's the problem: you think He wants your attention in order for you to do something. Maybe He just wants your attention." (From The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)
Yep, I said to myself. I hear ya! I'm not flying around from one task to another anymore, or 3 tasks to 3 tasks as the case may have been. This circus act is over! I'm thankful to be learning to take time and pay attention. To rest, not just physically, and to see how important it is to just "be".